Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

Have you ever seen the Instant Breakfast Drink commercial where Holly Robinson Peete is all like, “With so much going on it's essential I give my kids a nutritional breakfast”?

Bitch Please. Now I don’t have children and I didn’t even grow up eating the type of full breakfasts that you see in tv commercials, but giving your kids a chocolate milkshake that has 7 teaspoons of sugar in it can’t be all that good for them

Who is eating all this food when they wake up? I would definitely have the itis*!

If you're going to feed your kids pure sugar in the form of morning milkshakes then teachers should be able to carry tranquilizer darts with them. That way when the sugar takes over the childrens' bodies and things get out of control the teachers can shoot a quick dart to the neck of the offending child and resume the lesson plan.

A lot of people think they are being healthy by choosing items that are lite and low fat or because Holly Robinson Peete said to drink it. They don’t really know what’s good for them. But who's fault is that?

One of my good friends from high school and I were talking about the obesity epidemic the other day and she believes it’s the government’s [FDA] duty to make sure companies aren’t taking advantage of consumers. Large companies shouldn’t be able to tell you that a chicken is organic, but secretly feed the chickens inorganic corn meal, old parts of birds that were in chicken fights and jelly beans. We should be able to go to the store and pick up a box or a bag of whatever our heart desires and know that what we are buying, is what we are really getting.

The Amount of sugar in one serving of Carnation's Breakfast Chocolate Shake

And while I agree that companies should disclose all the facts about their products, I just don’t think it’s realistic to believe that a multi-million dollar company would choose honesty and straightfowardness over their bottom line. Marketing phrases like "No added sugar" and "No Trans Fat" are supposed to make you think it’s okay to eat Fishy McBites

We live in a fast paced world where we want what we want, when we want it. I don’t want to wait until next week for GI Joe Redemption to come out in theaters. Ain’t nobody got time for that! I’ve got to download it from bit torrent and watch it NOW! People want the same thing with their food. They don't want to take the time to research what they should and shouldn't be eating. They just want to eat it.

I mean, would you enjoy getting dolled up, hanging out at a bar with friends and flirting with men to find a sugar daddy to pay off your college loans? YES! Who wouldn’t? But if you’re really serious about your health then you should reschedule that appointment to get your mustache waxed, hop on the computer and find how natural your Trader Joe’s peanut butter really is.

There is no reason why a middle/upper class person of generation X or generation YOLO should not take responsibility for what they put in their mouth.  You can only make the best choice based on the facts that you are given, but if you don’t even do the research to begin with that’s your mistake.

And you know what? I love those Ikea Swedish meatballs, but in Europe, trace amounts of horse meat has been found in them. Would I eat Ikea Swedish meatballs on a normal trip to Ikea in America? You better believe it. Would I eat them in Europe after I took the time to go online and see how much sodium is in a serving of those yummy meatballs and stumbled upon this horse meat nonsense? Possibly if they were all out of chicken strips. But at least I did the leg work and know what I'm biting into: More Protein. 

What I would like to eat for breakfast

What I grew up eating for breakfast

*The Itis is when you eat a (could be large) meal and your get extremely tired/lazy/lethargic afterwards.